write something

feeling it all inside
screaming to come out
yet wanting to keep it all in
so i write something

i am silent in my thoughts
my deep thoughts
taking it all in
lacking an expression
so i write something

i don't stand out
but i can still enjoy
the beauty
it is indescribable
yet i have this urge
to write something...

here i am

here i am
far away enough to hide
i have no shelter of old friends
just my loving husband
all we survive with
all we can't stand

i am different than i used to be
they may judge
and say i have fallen
that because of him
i am no longer their sister of faith
simply because i am aware
of brutal realities
i ignored back then

here i am
trying to comprehend
why they view issues
with such simplicity
and stand against everything
they never will be able to control
there is so much more
to it all
these are petty politics

so frustrated
waring with myself
knowing nobody can change
the religious
politically insane
train of thought
anyone who feels different
automatically degraded
to an outcast

here i am
seeking more education
trying to see
through the eyes of love

i don't understand
how the corporations
are the answer for anything-
yet are controlling everything

i don't understand
how an unending war is going on
people are suffering and dying
while our economy dies with them

i don't understand how
abortion and homosexuality
can be their focus of attack
meanwhile the country is falling apart
people losing homes
families are devastated
living in poverty
why is their so much focus
on the unborn
and none on the quality of life
for the living
why can't we provide
health care to those that need it

we are called to love one another
that there is grace and love
in God for all
but in no way is it offered in the way
we vote
or the way we lash out and condemn
those who may need
something more from our government

we are spending all this money
on pointless wars-
killing thousands for oil
but god forbid they use
any of your tax money
to help the environment
or to provide health care
to the sick jobless Americans.

i am here
realizing this
realizing that things are not so cut and dry
they are not all black and white
that those i used to look up to
i can't anymore
because i am in a new place
and...not just physically

my sad demeanor

trying to evaluate how i feel
or the reason for the melancholy mood

can't decide on what i want
while knowing what we need

i am so confused
do we really need to leave
after only 2 years

are we just giving up
or giving in to the inevitable

i am captivated
by this beautiful city
almost to the point of tears

still so much
i want to see and do
but the annoyance of being broke
and barely being able to afford necessities
shadows over me

my sad demeanor
my only defense
as i realize
but try to ignore
that location is not everything

going back home
forced to face
that place again

where i was torn down
but where He restored me
and gave me my love

we can get through this
i just need to find the peace
in moving
yet again

12/14/09

music

falling in love with
the amazing sounds
put to poetry
strikes an emotion
maybe even produces a tear
my love for music
always there
but the joy in it
is returning
bonding me
to anyone
that can appreciate it
like I do
it gives hope, beauty, love
friendships
it is amazing
and I will always
need it
to keep my sanity
in this selfish
dissolving world

12/2/09

http://popup.lala.com/popup/4035506749898521333

“music’s the medicine of the mind” – john a. logan