engaged

i can feel the judgement on me
one of my happiest times
reduced to a devestating feeling
of the test of friendships
nobody will understand
how perfect he is for me
few support this step
we are taking
i want to embrace it
celebrate something
i have dreamed of since i was a girl
blank stares
fake smiles
i'm brought low
after floating in such a high place

will he want me
when he sees everything ugly
in me

Copyright [October 2, 2006] By: Tiffany Conner

loved disaster

he is asking me to explain myself.
takes me hours to figure myself out.
damaged for sure.
almost destroyed.
how can he love such a disaster?
im swollen
soar
unsure of what my future holds.
i'm in the midst of so many burdens
so much baggage.
yet he has discovered me.
he sees me for who i am
atleast i hope
because i am not even sure who that is anymore.
i'm a mess
but somehow held together.
knowing this love came in perfect timing.
and i see the miracle
and question how i have become a loved disaster.
i have escaped the nightmare.
and all i ask is to be held in the arms of a boy
who can be trusted
who can take delight in my happiness.
and who can accept all i can't control.

Copyright [September 12, 2006] By: Tiffany Conner