flood of tears

i have been ignoring that phone call
through the majority of the night
but the thought of a death bed
is haunting me
~and its all i can think about
i am shocked that i can pretend
that everything is fine
just focus on everything but the fact that he may die
i have not heard my mom sob for years
my heart breaks
as it falls to the floor of helplessness
~all i feel is helpless and sad
scared for him and his children, his family
he is soft spoken and strong
and we all seem to be barely holding on
to any form of hope
any other options that may help fight
everything that is taking over him
~i just pray and ask why
try to hold back the cry
but i am not strong right now
and i feel sick to my stomach
from everything that aches and breaks us
another night in a hospital bed for him
~he can only fight so hard
and it seems he has reached his max
the very thing that has made him so sick
is what was supposed to help and cure him
its not working
i am shaky and tired
~please hold us through this
i am trying to look up through this
but i am overwhelmed and human

a good quote...

I forgot how to slow down
to breathe in and out
and relax through the breaths
worried
stressed
over welmed
concerned
Melt me in your arms
and hold my heart steady
I am in the depth of madness and frustration
everyone here looks out for them selves
and doesn't seem to mind
in stomping over everyone else to do it
I heard a good quote today
i only hope it is true

"The world is full of suffering
it is also full of overcoming it."
~Helen Keller