sentimental

ever find definitions poetic? i do…
sen⋅ti⋅men⋅tal–adjective 1. expressive of or appealing to sentiment, esp. the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia

a bit more sentimental
than i want to be
writing every 5 minutes
can't keep holding it in
am i bad sister
or wife
if i show tears
or my fear
why am i so damn anxious when i am here
am i where i am supposed to be
but denying it
then i think to myself
i miss investing my time
where my heart is
that place is home to me
as much as i hate that fact
they are my friends
even if i have changed?
time will tell
swallowing the emotion
it is a lot to digest
pretending i am held together
if i am
it is not my hands holding me in place
i am a mess inside
hoping i will be accepted
as i am now
there is such a comfort
being far from it all
from my father
who does not know how to be a father
maybe it is the music
it can be intoxicating
maybe it is the boredom
of the job
but i know i cannot worry anymore
i am a bit more sentimental
than i want to be

nostalgic- a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

zombie writing on post-its

i can barely keep my eyes open
so ready to be at home
resting with my love
there has to be more to life
that this corporate greed
i feel i lose my dignity
a little everyday
as i wait on the crowded elevator
to go up and waste my day

i count my blessings
glad i have a job
but should i not long for more
to fulfill my time?
i would feel so much better
if i could help the ones
struggling to get by

so many left in the dust
of the ridiculous corporate bailouts
while the people
are foreclosed on, laid off, homeless
left with nothing
with no helping hand

i am in this cubicle
for the majority of my time
working for a wage
to barely get by
making the rich richer
and I am literally sick to my stomach

http://www.naturalnews.com/021911_America_corruption_corporations.html

Help Haiti

i cannot even imagine what those people have been through! such a sad and devestating disaster. my prayers are with those that have lost loved ones and those suffering through the rumble and the heart ache. when things like this happen, it really puts things into perspective. you never know when something like this will hit us.

"This is a time for all of us to be reminded of our common humanity and do all that we can to help."
Help Haiti, Drop the Debt:
http://one.org/international/actnow/haiti/?rc=haititw
you can also donate to the red cross: https://www.networkforgood.org/donation/MakeDonation.aspx?ORGID2=530196605

1000 miles away

excited?
depends on the day
i am going up and down
every few hours
this overwhelming feeling takes over
yielding me
from doing anything else
but drifting
don't know where my thoughts
have gone to this time
but i know they are not here
and while i try to find my mind
i am reminded against my will
of those that have caused me pain
how easy they are to ignore
when i am 1000 miles away
excited?
might not be the right word
need my comfort
i need his touch
to hold me in place
to remind me there is
good in this world

a new way

tired of feeling sad
tired of being hungry
but not having an appetite
tired of writing my feelings
instead of crying out my sadness
i would rather live happy
than write a book
just to express the disappointment
i am reminded of daily
i would rather be healthy
than see the pounds shed off accidentally
i would rather see the bright side
than tolerate the darkness
i think i miss the sun
among everything else
could you somehow prove you love me
in a new way
and make me smile forever